i've avoided this topic like the plague for the last few months, but everyone we run into has asked us about the kids we were trying to adopt through foster care. i'm finally in a place where i can talk about it without feeling sick and depressed.
for almost two years josh and i were working with an agency, doing everything they asked of us...the TB testing on us and the kids, FBI prints, and the list goes on and on. all of that has to be done before your homestudy can begin. every time we would talk to the agency, our adoption coordinator would say she hadn't received some results, or that we needed to do things again, etc. after a very long year of jumping through hoops, we were told that we needed to come back in the fall. our homestudy would not happen. they had for the last three months that we were with them, implied that we wanted to adopt simply to receive monthly subsidies from the government. even after turning in the dimensions and blueprint of our home, which is more than large enough to pass their requirements, they repeatedly asked us if we knew that adopting three children required a certain amount of space. they were grasping at straws to give us the answer we desperately did not want to hear. there was no reason that we shouldn't have been able to adopt. NONE. the only thing we can figure is that our age was not on our side. at our first ever visit with the agency, they had pushed older children adoption on us. we changed our preference from toddler-7years to 7years+. with all of that said, i have lost faith in our country's duty to find these children healthy homes. i fell into depression, with such a deep feeling of loss that i tried to avoid talking about it with anyone, even josh. the only one i took this to was God. i prayed that He would give me peace and contentment. i told him i was sure He had other plans for us. one night josh came to me with the story of Abraham and Isaac. he reminded me that God leads you through things sometimes to measure your faith. to see how much He matters to you. and if the experience broke my heart into pieces, it still taught me that HE was ALL i need. from the first time we decided to adopt through foster care, to telling our friends and family about the sibling group, to preparing our hearts for this whole new life we would have, at any cost, it was all through FAITH. faith that i really never knew i had.
when God closes a door, it's because He has a better one to open for you. one of the reasons that we want to move to Corpus Christi, is that we will have half the mortgage note we have here. it is a smaller community than where we are, there are tons of ways for our kids can see and experience God's creations. and since we will have smaller bills, we will have an opportunity to save our pennies and adopt through Reece's Rainbow.
that will be a whole 'nother post. but in the meantime, we have become prayer warriors for a precious little baby boy named Keegan! i highly suggest taking a chunk of time out of your day to peruse through their site, the children and ministry are amazing. if you would like, you can donate to Keegan's adoption fund through his page by clicking on his name above.
gotta get busy packing more of this house up!
--Lindsey
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
marching on
Lately as we get closer to having our homestudy started, my heart has been heavy. Well, not so much my heart as my mind. My selfish, doubtful, human mind. The one that worries what others think. The one that can't see the other side of this mountain. The one who doubts itself to do God's work and do it well. I have been praying constantly about this, repeating "Jesus" to myself when I start to feel anxious, worried and overwhelmed.
Then this morning I saw that Katie in Uganda wrote a new post on her amazing blog. And every time I read her stories of what God is doing through her, I feel rejuvenated. If she can do what she is doing, which is far scarier, messier, and trying than the road I am walking....then I can definitely do what I have been called to do. I know those three children that have lived without a permanent mother and father for years, are OURS. I cannot allow the enemy's thoughts to leak inside my head and fester there all day long. I feel a new excitement, I feel more love for them than I ever have. I want them home with me, I want to see their faces, hold them, tell them they will forever have a family. No matter the contrast of our skin color, no matter that I am only 13 years older than the oldest, no matter that I have no idea how to raise a teenager, no matter that I have three children already! LOVE is to be multiplied, our biological children are excited, they don't see skin color, they are loving, welcoming, accepting kids. My husband and I are walking the most difficult road we have ever been down. And at times it feels we are walking with blindfolds on. This process sometimes seems to take forever, and we don't know anything about the future. We don't know how we are going to do it. But HE will do it through us. I have felt a peace and energy this morning that only HE can bring me. I want to be set on FIRE for HIM, I want to live for HIM and I am marching on in HIS name! Have a great Tuesday!
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
--Lindsey
Then this morning I saw that Katie in Uganda wrote a new post on her amazing blog. And every time I read her stories of what God is doing through her, I feel rejuvenated. If she can do what she is doing, which is far scarier, messier, and trying than the road I am walking....then I can definitely do what I have been called to do. I know those three children that have lived without a permanent mother and father for years, are OURS. I cannot allow the enemy's thoughts to leak inside my head and fester there all day long. I feel a new excitement, I feel more love for them than I ever have. I want them home with me, I want to see their faces, hold them, tell them they will forever have a family. No matter the contrast of our skin color, no matter that I am only 13 years older than the oldest, no matter that I have no idea how to raise a teenager, no matter that I have three children already! LOVE is to be multiplied, our biological children are excited, they don't see skin color, they are loving, welcoming, accepting kids. My husband and I are walking the most difficult road we have ever been down. And at times it feels we are walking with blindfolds on. This process sometimes seems to take forever, and we don't know anything about the future. We don't know how we are going to do it. But HE will do it through us. I have felt a peace and energy this morning that only HE can bring me. I want to be set on FIRE for HIM, I want to live for HIM and I am marching on in HIS name! Have a great Tuesday!
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
--Lindsey
Monday, August 16, 2010
Our Adoption Story
As we move further through the adoption process and are getting closer to our homestudy, we are telling more people about the adoption. The most common thing we get asked is "why??" So I decided to write our story, which is a long one.
Over a year ago, in the beginning of 2009, I happened to look on TARE - Texas Adoption Recources Exchange, which lists photos, bios and heart galleries of children that are "hard to place". These children have typically been in the system for a while, sometimes many years, who may have had failed adoptions in the past. I was just looking out of curiosity, not with the intent to ever adopt through the foster care system. My husband and I had just had our third baby, and he was always against adoption since we were able to have three of our own. I saw a picture of a little girl, and something made me mention her to Josh. We both thought she was beautiful and wondered why she was not adopted yet. We both talked about it, and wanted to see what it would take to adopt her into our family. But just her...we agreed that we would not adopt any other children, but were only interested in her because she looked like she would fit into our family, and we weren't ready to think about adopting just any kid(s). In the spring of 2009 I contacted a caseworker, who told me that to adopt her, we had to go to an information class. We set it up and went one night, coming out very interested in the whole process. The class taught us about what kinds of children are in the system, and informed us of the entire process. We would have to go through six weeks of classes, paper work, and home study. One week later the little girl was matched with a family. We decided we just weren't ready to adopt yet, and put the idea on the back burner as something we would definitely consider doing in a few years when we were more ready.
No matter how hard I tried to push the thought back, I kept thinking about the kids on the website that didn't have permanent parents, or a real family. I kept looking at the website when Josh was at work, and I came across a sibling group of three that had been broad casted on their local news channel. I watched the video, and fell in love with them. By the end of the video I was crying, and knew that I had to show Josh when he got home. In the video they were playing at a farm, and there were chickens. Instead of saying "chickens" the youngest girl said "shickens", and that stuck out to me. I showed Josh the video and he was tearing up too. But we both "knew" that it was impossible to adopt them. There were three, and we already had that many at home that we were still getting the hang of since Trent was just a baby. We also thought there was no way that someone would give us a chance to adopt them, since the oldest was half our age. We decided to go through the process of adoption, very slowly. When we filled out our forms at the first class, we put that we would take one child. We went through the six weeks of adoption classes, and had changed the number of children we would take to two. I still found myself looking at the sibling group of three from the video, almost daily. I kept it to myself, because I knew there was no way that it would happen. The classes did a lot for us. We had time to talk by ourselves on the way there, and the way home, every week for six weeks. We discovered a closeness that we hadn't had time for in a while. We learned a lot about parenting our own children as well. The classes make you look at yourselves from a different perspective. I thank God that we went through that experience when we did.
In February of this year we had completely finished the course, and the next step was to turn our paperwork in. We had taken some time out, to think about foster care adoption and if it was the route that God wanted us to go. We also looked into Ethiopian adoption, and something made us apply for a form. We prayed. A lot. And the night that we applied for the form, I had a dream. The only other time that I dreamt something like this was before I found out that I was pregnant with Kali, and I saw myself with a little girl. Anyway, during this dream I was standing in dirt, and all I could see in front of me was chickens. I couldn't see anything else but right in front of me. I asked "what am I doing?" and a voice clearly, and very loudly said "Adopting". For some reason, I thought I was in another country in my dream, and we decided that we should go through with the Ethiopian adoption. I got an email from the agency two weeks later saying we were not accepted. I was upset, and felt very confused. A couple of weeks later, my grandmother called my mom very concerned because when she had been going to sleep, she heard a voice say "Do not let Lindsey go to Ethiopia. You may never see her again". She heard it twice, and it really shook her. I knew that adopting internationally was not God's plan for us. So, we prayed more. That next week we went out together for Josh's birthday. We had a great night, and when we got home we were talking about everything going on, and for some reason I decided to mention the chickens in my dream. I hadn't told him that part of the dream because I didn't think that they meant anything. I also told him that I still looked at that sibling group all the time, and felt a pull towards them. I reminded him of how the youngest girl said "shickens", and we were laughing about it when he stopped and said "That's what God was telling you with your dream. He knew that part of the video stuck out to you, and that would be very clear for you". Of course, being the type of person to read far into things, I had overlooked it. We knew that night that those were the children that we were supposed to adopt.
It has been a long road, far more life changing than anything we have gone through before together. But it has been so worth it, and we are all excited about this new chapter. So when people ask us "Why?? Why three? Y'all are crazy!", it hurts, because the journey to get us here is one that no one else could understand unless they have full faith in God, and understand that there are others that we were sent here to save, no matter how "crazy" it might make us appear.
"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us" James 1:27
Over a year ago, in the beginning of 2009, I happened to look on TARE - Texas Adoption Recources Exchange, which lists photos, bios and heart galleries of children that are "hard to place". These children have typically been in the system for a while, sometimes many years, who may have had failed adoptions in the past. I was just looking out of curiosity, not with the intent to ever adopt through the foster care system. My husband and I had just had our third baby, and he was always against adoption since we were able to have three of our own. I saw a picture of a little girl, and something made me mention her to Josh. We both thought she was beautiful and wondered why she was not adopted yet. We both talked about it, and wanted to see what it would take to adopt her into our family. But just her...we agreed that we would not adopt any other children, but were only interested in her because she looked like she would fit into our family, and we weren't ready to think about adopting just any kid(s). In the spring of 2009 I contacted a caseworker, who told me that to adopt her, we had to go to an information class. We set it up and went one night, coming out very interested in the whole process. The class taught us about what kinds of children are in the system, and informed us of the entire process. We would have to go through six weeks of classes, paper work, and home study. One week later the little girl was matched with a family. We decided we just weren't ready to adopt yet, and put the idea on the back burner as something we would definitely consider doing in a few years when we were more ready.
No matter how hard I tried to push the thought back, I kept thinking about the kids on the website that didn't have permanent parents, or a real family. I kept looking at the website when Josh was at work, and I came across a sibling group of three that had been broad casted on their local news channel. I watched the video, and fell in love with them. By the end of the video I was crying, and knew that I had to show Josh when he got home. In the video they were playing at a farm, and there were chickens. Instead of saying "chickens" the youngest girl said "shickens", and that stuck out to me. I showed Josh the video and he was tearing up too. But we both "knew" that it was impossible to adopt them. There were three, and we already had that many at home that we were still getting the hang of since Trent was just a baby. We also thought there was no way that someone would give us a chance to adopt them, since the oldest was half our age. We decided to go through the process of adoption, very slowly. When we filled out our forms at the first class, we put that we would take one child. We went through the six weeks of adoption classes, and had changed the number of children we would take to two. I still found myself looking at the sibling group of three from the video, almost daily. I kept it to myself, because I knew there was no way that it would happen. The classes did a lot for us. We had time to talk by ourselves on the way there, and the way home, every week for six weeks. We discovered a closeness that we hadn't had time for in a while. We learned a lot about parenting our own children as well. The classes make you look at yourselves from a different perspective. I thank God that we went through that experience when we did.
In February of this year we had completely finished the course, and the next step was to turn our paperwork in. We had taken some time out, to think about foster care adoption and if it was the route that God wanted us to go. We also looked into Ethiopian adoption, and something made us apply for a form. We prayed. A lot. And the night that we applied for the form, I had a dream. The only other time that I dreamt something like this was before I found out that I was pregnant with Kali, and I saw myself with a little girl. Anyway, during this dream I was standing in dirt, and all I could see in front of me was chickens. I couldn't see anything else but right in front of me. I asked "what am I doing?" and a voice clearly, and very loudly said "Adopting". For some reason, I thought I was in another country in my dream, and we decided that we should go through with the Ethiopian adoption. I got an email from the agency two weeks later saying we were not accepted. I was upset, and felt very confused. A couple of weeks later, my grandmother called my mom very concerned because when she had been going to sleep, she heard a voice say "Do not let Lindsey go to Ethiopia. You may never see her again". She heard it twice, and it really shook her. I knew that adopting internationally was not God's plan for us. So, we prayed more. That next week we went out together for Josh's birthday. We had a great night, and when we got home we were talking about everything going on, and for some reason I decided to mention the chickens in my dream. I hadn't told him that part of the dream because I didn't think that they meant anything. I also told him that I still looked at that sibling group all the time, and felt a pull towards them. I reminded him of how the youngest girl said "shickens", and we were laughing about it when he stopped and said "That's what God was telling you with your dream. He knew that part of the video stuck out to you, and that would be very clear for you". Of course, being the type of person to read far into things, I had overlooked it. We knew that night that those were the children that we were supposed to adopt.
It has been a long road, far more life changing than anything we have gone through before together. But it has been so worth it, and we are all excited about this new chapter. So when people ask us "Why?? Why three? Y'all are crazy!", it hurts, because the journey to get us here is one that no one else could understand unless they have full faith in God, and understand that there are others that we were sent here to save, no matter how "crazy" it might make us appear.
"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us" James 1:27
Friday, July 2, 2010
Expecting
Expecting children through adoption is much the same as expecting them through pregnancy. You have dreams, hopes, and fears. At times you feel an urgency to get them home with you, and at others you enjoy the process so you can prepare yourself. Although there is no true preparing yourself in either case....
You run around trying to get the house ready, thinking about what they'll need. Wondering what they are like, what their personalities are.
The main difference is announcing it. It seems that in this country adopting older children is frowned upon. If you are pregnant, it's considered a blessing. But if you are rescuing children from being moved around, from uncertainty, and bringing them into a home with a permanent Mom and Dad, people almost try to talk you out of it. How sad. What if those same people had experienced what these children have been through? What if they had to spend years in foster care, not having the best past, and not getting to take much of it with them. These kids feel like they don't have a place, and are unwanted. So how awesome is that to give these children a chance? To have someone tell them that they will be adopted. They have waited for this, and are probably losing hope. How on earth could giving them a secure future be a bad thing? People loved the movie The Blind Side. Yet, how many hearts did it truly change? Is adoption only okay at a distance, where it's not too real, but instead shown in the most positive Hollywood light, so that the most tickets will be sold? Why am I made to defend why we are adopting? I didn't have to defend my unborn children when I was pregnant with them. I am just tired of feeling like we are making a wrong or thoughtless decision, because we are not. This is not a selfish choice on our part, it is the most selfless thing we can do. And Christian people most of all should be supportive of each other and show the same love to the parents and children that Christ showed for us, because after all, we are ALL adopted children of God, aren't we??
You run around trying to get the house ready, thinking about what they'll need. Wondering what they are like, what their personalities are.
The main difference is announcing it. It seems that in this country adopting older children is frowned upon. If you are pregnant, it's considered a blessing. But if you are rescuing children from being moved around, from uncertainty, and bringing them into a home with a permanent Mom and Dad, people almost try to talk you out of it. How sad. What if those same people had experienced what these children have been through? What if they had to spend years in foster care, not having the best past, and not getting to take much of it with them. These kids feel like they don't have a place, and are unwanted. So how awesome is that to give these children a chance? To have someone tell them that they will be adopted. They have waited for this, and are probably losing hope. How on earth could giving them a secure future be a bad thing? People loved the movie The Blind Side. Yet, how many hearts did it truly change? Is adoption only okay at a distance, where it's not too real, but instead shown in the most positive Hollywood light, so that the most tickets will be sold? Why am I made to defend why we are adopting? I didn't have to defend my unborn children when I was pregnant with them. I am just tired of feeling like we are making a wrong or thoughtless decision, because we are not. This is not a selfish choice on our part, it is the most selfless thing we can do. And Christian people most of all should be supportive of each other and show the same love to the parents and children that Christ showed for us, because after all, we are ALL adopted children of God, aren't we??
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
blessed
The past couple of months have been eye opening, and although at times very difficult, it has also been the best times I have ever had. We have struggled as a family, and grown closer together. Our marriage has benefited greatly, and we know that God is the reason why. He determines every decision we make as a family, and are so excited for the next phase in our lives. After taking some time to pray, soul search, and grow...we have decided to resume our adoption process through foster care. I don't want to say too much about the number our ages or anything that we are going for, but it is a sibling group. We are getting more excited everyday, and I can't wait to start our home study. We have only told a few family members, and will begin telling more people close to us as the ball gets rolling. Prayers from anyone reading this would be so appreciated...the process can seem daunting at times, and I feel for every single child in foster care that is sleeping tonight without someone to call Mommy and Daddy.
On another note, Josh has started a new job and so far it's going great, we couldn't be happier about it. The kids are growing like weeds, I think Trent says a new word almost daily. That is wonderful but sad to me at the same time. He is my last baby, and the days of diapers, cuddles, naps, and slobbery baby kisses seem to be flying by. Kali has been growing into herself too, and I love it. Four is such a fun age. She is so independent and comfortable with who she is. We catch her singing her own made up songs all the time, I need to record some. Chandler is having a blast next door these days with his friends, and I love watching them all grow up together. He has been such a huge help around here, too. Who knew that once they turn six that they actually clean their room and help do chores willingly? My younger two could not have asked for a better big brother, he talks a lot about wanting to teach Trent to do things as he gets older, and is so sweet with Kali (most of the time!). I feel so blessed to have been given three amazing biological kids, and then have God call us to be blessed by adopting also!
We are still enjoying summer around here, although the heat has been killer. But at least that makes for a good tan. I volunteered Sunday at the kids' preschool program at Church, and I got to be in Kali's class! I was so excited and so was she. We had a really great time, I loved watching little four year olds sing their songs and have their own sermon. So cute. Hopefully this week flies by because I can't wait to spend much needed family time with Josh and the kids for July 4th. And of course get more of a tan. :)
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