Journey

Last year this time we decided to move to Corpus Christi. It seemed a great fit for Josh's job, work was good here. Over the past year, that has proven to not be the case. Things have been slowing down and for our family, that's just not working. Josh was recently offered  a higher position in Houston, and we jumped on it! So...now we are packing our things for the second time in a year and planning our move back home to Houston. I have some mixed emotions about it all. This has been a wonderful opportunity, we have met some great people, had a strange but lovely experience living in a quaint little home on the river, and the kids got to go to one of the best schools. Houston holds my heart though. It's where all of my children were born, where Josh and I spent all of our first 26 years, and where I honestly long to be. I am so grateful to God that we have been given this chance to grow together, grow in Him, and I will never forget our adventures in this small town. In Houston we own two homes; the one that we lived in and raised the kids in for the last 6 years, and one that we invested in and kept for a rental property. The rental is where we'll be moving into this summer. God has opened that door for us in a crazy way, but I can't talk about the details until it's said and done. It's a lateral move financially from here, so we will have the chance to save for a couple of years, and eventually buy the home we want to stay in for good. I'm excited to live closer to cousins and other family that I used to live across town from. God loves to make sure I don't get bored, it seems :). That's fine with me, I'm not one for routine, I thrive on change and spontaneity.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18-19

My baby fever has been kicking into full gear, but we have to wait for at least a year before we seriously decide to take the plunge into adoption options. I came across this amazing organization called Project Cuddle, and wanted to share. They help find homes for babies who would otherwise be abandoned, or worse. They also find ways for troubled birth mothers to keep their babies and thrive in motherhood. It's pretty inspiring. Check it out. 

Happy Hump Day!

--Lindsey

marching on

Lately as we get closer to having our homestudy started, my heart has been heavy. Well, not so much my heart as my mind. My selfish, doubtful, human mind. The one that worries what others think. The one that can't see the other side of this mountain. The one who doubts itself to do God's work and do it well. I have been praying constantly about this, repeating "Jesus" to myself when I start to feel anxious, worried and overwhelmed.

Then this morning I saw that Katie in Uganda wrote a new post on her amazing blog. And every time I read her stories of what God is doing through her, I feel rejuvenated. If she can do what she is doing, which is far scarier, messier, and trying than the road I am walking....then I can definitely do what I have been called to do. I know those three children that have lived without a permanent mother and father for years, are OURS. I cannot allow the enemy's thoughts to leak inside my head and fester there all day long. I feel a new excitement, I feel more love for them than I ever have. I want them home with me, I want to see their faces, hold them, tell them they will forever have a family. No matter the contrast of our skin color, no matter that I am only 13 years older than the oldest, no matter that I have no idea how to raise a teenager, no matter that I have three children already! LOVE is to be multiplied, our biological children are excited, they don't see skin color, they are loving, welcoming, accepting kids. My husband and I are walking the most difficult road we have ever been down. And at times it feels we are walking with blindfolds on. This process sometimes seems to take forever, and we don't know anything about the future. We don't know how we are going to do it. But HE will do it through us. I have felt a peace and energy this morning that only HE can bring me. I want to be set on FIRE for HIM, I want to live for HIM and I am marching on in HIS name! Have a great Tuesday!

 ‎2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

--Lindsey

Life in the deep end

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've even logged into my blog. My life in recent weeks and months has been turned upside down and shaken. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, praying, reading, questioning....with not a lot of answers. The matters that are affecting my family are very personal, and nothing I would ever expose here, but I need to get how I am feeling off my chest. I feel so lost, just wandering through life. I have realized I have not been living life, but just existing. I have detatched myself somewhere along the way, so I don't feel pain, or rather, anything. I can say that my family makes me truly happy, but there's always the trials we are facing in the back of my mind, waiting for a moment where I stop and look around to distract me and get the negative thoughts spinning. There are moments when I feel like this is all a bad dream, and that I just know when I open my eyes it will be over. I will awake from this nightmare, from the fear, anxiety, the unknown. But it's not. This is real life. As real as it gets. At times I feel helpless, like we can't see the light, because I don't even know where the end of the tunnel is. I have never held onto God and my children this much before, and that is what keeps me going. I have to be strong for them, and if anything, I know God and speak to him more now than ever. I prayed in the past for more understanding of His will for my life, for a closer relationship with Him, for stronger faith, more patience. I assume through climbing this mountain, that I am receiving all of those things from Him. Funny how life works. Recently while reading Job, I had many revelations. I feel much the same as Job did. Which makes me feel worse at times. I am really trying to not ask "why me?" God obviously knows my husband and I are strong enough to get through these times. I sometimes underestimate myself, but it's hard to think of yourself as a strong person. I just need to let go and fully surrender the situation to God...although I have prayed and wholeheartedly tried to do that, it's hard as a human to not have fear, especially fear of man. Hopefully the busy day laying ahead of me will lift my spirits....on to my son's school to help get things ready for his "Family Fun Night". Have a great Thursday everyone!

Psalm 27:1  The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whome shall I fear?

Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.