Two-Faced

I have a problem. I hate routine. I have a child who thrives on it, who one day dreams of joining the Army. He reminds me so much of my Daddy; type A personality. Clear boundaries, cause and effect, consequences, and affirmation make them tick. They hate change, spontaneity causes anxiety, and they love to know what's coming next. God made me just the opposite. I enjoy jumping in the car and just driving, not necessarily to anywhere, but just to see. Feel...feel change, a break from the mundane. When I first became a mom, I immediately put Chandler on a schedule. It has pretty much stayed the same over the last 8 years. If we should ever sway, complete mayhem breaks loose, forcing me to break out the beloved "Family Schedule". His face relaxes, he wants to read it, follow it, live by it. In some ways it makes me content also, and gives me a sense of control when most of the time I am anything but :). Having a play-by-play of our days ensures me that my children will be hopefully be more organized than me, rested, well adjusted, calmer. Yesterday as we drove home from our parent-teacher conference, we had the windows down in "Ellie" our old suburban, blaring Texas Country music, feeling the wind blow our hair, soaking up the rays. I daydreamed of throwing the schedule away for the rest of the day, sit by the river and ignore the world. I longed to just have fun with the kids, but alas, things like homework, dinner, and baths must be a priority...at least on a Wednesday.

 Chandler and I made blackberry cobbler last week. Actually, he made it, all I did was supervise. That boy loves to cook!

I notice this trend often with me. Somewhere inside of me lives a clean-freak, who thoroughly enjoys scrubbing the shower, or dusting until the wood shines. Neat piles of lovely smelling laundry awaiting their home in a drawer gives me a feeling of accomplishment and a "Hey, I dig this whole housewife thang!". This will continue for a couple of weeks, until my alter ego rears her ugly head. She lives for making memories, for hoping the cleaning fairies show up for once. She ignores the fact that she's a housewife and loves to just be Lindsey. She lives for the moment, free from obligations. It's not easy balancing these two personalities. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Raising well balanced children requires a lot of hard work, investing of time, and I think that both these women attribute to helping my kids find out who they are, allowing them to be a little bit of both worlds. At least it feels better to think that way ha!

Gunnar seems to be doing better, now if we could just keep him home instead of going down the street to play with his doggie friends!

Have a great Thursday!
Lindsey