16You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17I command you to love each other. John 15:16-17
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Life lately
Chandler started school this Monday. Where has time gone?? And how am I the mom of a FIRST grader? It seems like yesterday that he was a tiny baby napping on my chest, and now he won't hold my hand or kiss me while walking into his new classroom. I am so proud of him...being a young mom I had doubts about the kind of job I would do raising him...I had no clue what I was doing. But I must be doing something right -- he knows God and loves Jesus, even telling his friends at school about Him. He is giving, loving, loyal, brave, charming, and smart. He makes me smile every single day.
Kali started her last year of preschool at our church today. She has always been our laid back child, going with the flow...until today. She FREAKED out about going into a new class. But when I picked her up the first thing she said was "I had SO much fun!". She means the world to me. She is an artist, she is sensitive, caring, gentle, animated, and genuinely loves life. She has a smile that lights up a room, and everywhere she goes it seems people gravitate toward her. Her voice and laugh cheer me up, and she loves when everyone is happy. Every single day she draws, colors or paints. Every. Single. Day. And her stuff is awesome! Unfortunately my scanner isn't working right tonight and it won't let me load pictures on here, but maybe soon I can. I'm going to do some research on finding a children's art class for her to go to and make some things to put in the house. My baby girl is getting so big!
It was so quiet here this morning with only Trent home so I packed him up and went to my mom's. Josh met us there later because he was working in the neighborhood.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Obstacles
I am getting more and more frustrated through this adoption process. All we need to get done now is Josh's TB screening. He went in on Friday last week to get it done, and they said that the patient before him had taken the last one they had! What are the odds of that?? I have read many adoption stories about how the closer you get to getting children, the more obstacles you have to get through. The devil hates adoption and would rather these children never have a permanent and loving family. The doctor's office is ordering more today, so they should have one for Josh in a few days. It takes another few days before it can get checked out, so now it looks like our paperwork will take at least another ten days to get sent in. Please pray for us that things go smoothly! It is hard to wait with our hands tied over something so small when we have been trying to get everything done for over a month now. We can't start our homestudy until they receive all of our paperwork, so please please pray that this gets done soon!
On another note, we all took Chandler to his FIRST grade classroom today. It seems like there is no way I have a kid that age, but it has been so fun to watch him grow into the smart, thoughtful, Jesus-loving boy that he is now! I am so proud of him and the way he loves others, and is always putting them first (as much as a 6 year old can). It has been quiet this morning, but I'll get used to it again. Kali starts her last year of preschool on Wednesday, and will be there until 2:30 every day, to get her used to going to Kindergarten. She is super nervous and doesn't want to go. She is overwhelmed with the thought of having new teachers and classmates. Hopefully she'll do okay and not cry too much when we drop her off. I'm off to color pictures and watch Dora with her.
--Lindsey
On another note, we all took Chandler to his FIRST grade classroom today. It seems like there is no way I have a kid that age, but it has been so fun to watch him grow into the smart, thoughtful, Jesus-loving boy that he is now! I am so proud of him and the way he loves others, and is always putting them first (as much as a 6 year old can). It has been quiet this morning, but I'll get used to it again. Kali starts her last year of preschool on Wednesday, and will be there until 2:30 every day, to get her used to going to Kindergarten. She is super nervous and doesn't want to go. She is overwhelmed with the thought of having new teachers and classmates. Hopefully she'll do okay and not cry too much when we drop her off. I'm off to color pictures and watch Dora with her.
--Lindsey
Monday, August 16, 2010
Our Adoption Story
As we move further through the adoption process and are getting closer to our homestudy, we are telling more people about the adoption. The most common thing we get asked is "why??" So I decided to write our story, which is a long one.
Over a year ago, in the beginning of 2009, I happened to look on TARE - Texas Adoption Recources Exchange, which lists photos, bios and heart galleries of children that are "hard to place". These children have typically been in the system for a while, sometimes many years, who may have had failed adoptions in the past. I was just looking out of curiosity, not with the intent to ever adopt through the foster care system. My husband and I had just had our third baby, and he was always against adoption since we were able to have three of our own. I saw a picture of a little girl, and something made me mention her to Josh. We both thought she was beautiful and wondered why she was not adopted yet. We both talked about it, and wanted to see what it would take to adopt her into our family. But just her...we agreed that we would not adopt any other children, but were only interested in her because she looked like she would fit into our family, and we weren't ready to think about adopting just any kid(s). In the spring of 2009 I contacted a caseworker, who told me that to adopt her, we had to go to an information class. We set it up and went one night, coming out very interested in the whole process. The class taught us about what kinds of children are in the system, and informed us of the entire process. We would have to go through six weeks of classes, paper work, and home study. One week later the little girl was matched with a family. We decided we just weren't ready to adopt yet, and put the idea on the back burner as something we would definitely consider doing in a few years when we were more ready.
No matter how hard I tried to push the thought back, I kept thinking about the kids on the website that didn't have permanent parents, or a real family. I kept looking at the website when Josh was at work, and I came across a sibling group of three that had been broad casted on their local news channel. I watched the video, and fell in love with them. By the end of the video I was crying, and knew that I had to show Josh when he got home. In the video they were playing at a farm, and there were chickens. Instead of saying "chickens" the youngest girl said "shickens", and that stuck out to me. I showed Josh the video and he was tearing up too. But we both "knew" that it was impossible to adopt them. There were three, and we already had that many at home that we were still getting the hang of since Trent was just a baby. We also thought there was no way that someone would give us a chance to adopt them, since the oldest was half our age. We decided to go through the process of adoption, very slowly. When we filled out our forms at the first class, we put that we would take one child. We went through the six weeks of adoption classes, and had changed the number of children we would take to two. I still found myself looking at the sibling group of three from the video, almost daily. I kept it to myself, because I knew there was no way that it would happen. The classes did a lot for us. We had time to talk by ourselves on the way there, and the way home, every week for six weeks. We discovered a closeness that we hadn't had time for in a while. We learned a lot about parenting our own children as well. The classes make you look at yourselves from a different perspective. I thank God that we went through that experience when we did.
In February of this year we had completely finished the course, and the next step was to turn our paperwork in. We had taken some time out, to think about foster care adoption and if it was the route that God wanted us to go. We also looked into Ethiopian adoption, and something made us apply for a form. We prayed. A lot. And the night that we applied for the form, I had a dream. The only other time that I dreamt something like this was before I found out that I was pregnant with Kali, and I saw myself with a little girl. Anyway, during this dream I was standing in dirt, and all I could see in front of me was chickens. I couldn't see anything else but right in front of me. I asked "what am I doing?" and a voice clearly, and very loudly said "Adopting". For some reason, I thought I was in another country in my dream, and we decided that we should go through with the Ethiopian adoption. I got an email from the agency two weeks later saying we were not accepted. I was upset, and felt very confused. A couple of weeks later, my grandmother called my mom very concerned because when she had been going to sleep, she heard a voice say "Do not let Lindsey go to Ethiopia. You may never see her again". She heard it twice, and it really shook her. I knew that adopting internationally was not God's plan for us. So, we prayed more. That next week we went out together for Josh's birthday. We had a great night, and when we got home we were talking about everything going on, and for some reason I decided to mention the chickens in my dream. I hadn't told him that part of the dream because I didn't think that they meant anything. I also told him that I still looked at that sibling group all the time, and felt a pull towards them. I reminded him of how the youngest girl said "shickens", and we were laughing about it when he stopped and said "That's what God was telling you with your dream. He knew that part of the video stuck out to you, and that would be very clear for you". Of course, being the type of person to read far into things, I had overlooked it. We knew that night that those were the children that we were supposed to adopt.
It has been a long road, far more life changing than anything we have gone through before together. But it has been so worth it, and we are all excited about this new chapter. So when people ask us "Why?? Why three? Y'all are crazy!", it hurts, because the journey to get us here is one that no one else could understand unless they have full faith in God, and understand that there are others that we were sent here to save, no matter how "crazy" it might make us appear.
"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us" James 1:27
Over a year ago, in the beginning of 2009, I happened to look on TARE - Texas Adoption Recources Exchange, which lists photos, bios and heart galleries of children that are "hard to place". These children have typically been in the system for a while, sometimes many years, who may have had failed adoptions in the past. I was just looking out of curiosity, not with the intent to ever adopt through the foster care system. My husband and I had just had our third baby, and he was always against adoption since we were able to have three of our own. I saw a picture of a little girl, and something made me mention her to Josh. We both thought she was beautiful and wondered why she was not adopted yet. We both talked about it, and wanted to see what it would take to adopt her into our family. But just her...we agreed that we would not adopt any other children, but were only interested in her because she looked like she would fit into our family, and we weren't ready to think about adopting just any kid(s). In the spring of 2009 I contacted a caseworker, who told me that to adopt her, we had to go to an information class. We set it up and went one night, coming out very interested in the whole process. The class taught us about what kinds of children are in the system, and informed us of the entire process. We would have to go through six weeks of classes, paper work, and home study. One week later the little girl was matched with a family. We decided we just weren't ready to adopt yet, and put the idea on the back burner as something we would definitely consider doing in a few years when we were more ready.
No matter how hard I tried to push the thought back, I kept thinking about the kids on the website that didn't have permanent parents, or a real family. I kept looking at the website when Josh was at work, and I came across a sibling group of three that had been broad casted on their local news channel. I watched the video, and fell in love with them. By the end of the video I was crying, and knew that I had to show Josh when he got home. In the video they were playing at a farm, and there were chickens. Instead of saying "chickens" the youngest girl said "shickens", and that stuck out to me. I showed Josh the video and he was tearing up too. But we both "knew" that it was impossible to adopt them. There were three, and we already had that many at home that we were still getting the hang of since Trent was just a baby. We also thought there was no way that someone would give us a chance to adopt them, since the oldest was half our age. We decided to go through the process of adoption, very slowly. When we filled out our forms at the first class, we put that we would take one child. We went through the six weeks of adoption classes, and had changed the number of children we would take to two. I still found myself looking at the sibling group of three from the video, almost daily. I kept it to myself, because I knew there was no way that it would happen. The classes did a lot for us. We had time to talk by ourselves on the way there, and the way home, every week for six weeks. We discovered a closeness that we hadn't had time for in a while. We learned a lot about parenting our own children as well. The classes make you look at yourselves from a different perspective. I thank God that we went through that experience when we did.
In February of this year we had completely finished the course, and the next step was to turn our paperwork in. We had taken some time out, to think about foster care adoption and if it was the route that God wanted us to go. We also looked into Ethiopian adoption, and something made us apply for a form. We prayed. A lot. And the night that we applied for the form, I had a dream. The only other time that I dreamt something like this was before I found out that I was pregnant with Kali, and I saw myself with a little girl. Anyway, during this dream I was standing in dirt, and all I could see in front of me was chickens. I couldn't see anything else but right in front of me. I asked "what am I doing?" and a voice clearly, and very loudly said "Adopting". For some reason, I thought I was in another country in my dream, and we decided that we should go through with the Ethiopian adoption. I got an email from the agency two weeks later saying we were not accepted. I was upset, and felt very confused. A couple of weeks later, my grandmother called my mom very concerned because when she had been going to sleep, she heard a voice say "Do not let Lindsey go to Ethiopia. You may never see her again". She heard it twice, and it really shook her. I knew that adopting internationally was not God's plan for us. So, we prayed more. That next week we went out together for Josh's birthday. We had a great night, and when we got home we were talking about everything going on, and for some reason I decided to mention the chickens in my dream. I hadn't told him that part of the dream because I didn't think that they meant anything. I also told him that I still looked at that sibling group all the time, and felt a pull towards them. I reminded him of how the youngest girl said "shickens", and we were laughing about it when he stopped and said "That's what God was telling you with your dream. He knew that part of the video stuck out to you, and that would be very clear for you". Of course, being the type of person to read far into things, I had overlooked it. We knew that night that those were the children that we were supposed to adopt.
It has been a long road, far more life changing than anything we have gone through before together. But it has been so worth it, and we are all excited about this new chapter. So when people ask us "Why?? Why three? Y'all are crazy!", it hurts, because the journey to get us here is one that no one else could understand unless they have full faith in God, and understand that there are others that we were sent here to save, no matter how "crazy" it might make us appear.
"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us" James 1:27
Friday, August 13, 2010
be jealous.
It's official. I have the best husband on the planet. Each year spent married to him just gets better. Since we finally decided to join the rest of the modern world and get dvr (yay!) I can record my shows and read until they're done. I love to read, and my favorite author is Jennifer Weiner. I own every book she has written, except for the last two that just came out this year. As I was re-reading one of her old books a couple of weeks ago, I told Josh that I wish I had the new ones. So I was on the phone with my mom today when the doorbell rang. It was UPS, delivering her new book Fly Away Home, that Josh had ordered for me as a surprise! He is seriously awesome! I couldn't believe it, and on top of that he brought me a rose home this week too.
Thank you honey for working so hard to provide for our family, for being a wonderful daddy to our children, for being excited about bringing more into our family, for doing little things to make me smile, for your phone calls during the day to ask me how I'm doing and say you love me, for our late night talks, and for putting up with my occassional craziness. I love you more every day, and am so proud to be your wife!
--Lindsey
Thank you honey for working so hard to provide for our family, for being a wonderful daddy to our children, for being excited about bringing more into our family, for doing little things to make me smile, for your phone calls during the day to ask me how I'm doing and say you love me, for our late night talks, and for putting up with my occassional craziness. I love you more every day, and am so proud to be your wife!
--Lindsey
Thursday, August 12, 2010
motherhood
Today I was reminded of the best thing about reading other blogs...reading something inspiring, humbling, thought-provoking. Earlier I was talking to my mom on the phone, and telling her that as a mom I often feel like I fall short. I think most (if not all) mothers feel this way at some point. Our world is so fast, and we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, to get everything right, to have it all, to succeed with flying colors at every single thing we do. Our generation does not take "failure" well. Sometimes it takes our shortcomings staring us in the face to see what our strengths are. God designed us all differently, we are incredibly uniquely different. The one thing God made women to be on a common ground is a mother, or wife. We have the same obligations, the same "chores", responsibilities. We have to learn what works for us. On the outside, moms try to have it all together, with the best minivan or SUV, the cleanest home, the perfect family picture with matching smiles and outfits. The reality is that this is not reality. The real woman has cheerios hiding between the minivan seats, running late because someone threw their brother's shoe in the toilet so they spent the next 15 minutes trying to find another pair, a toddler who happened to sit still enough during a photo session to capture a quick face that resembles smiling, and coat closets full of things that she threw in there so she could have company over without having anxiety. The real mom wonders if she knows at all that what she is doing is perfectly right, all the time. My biggest fear is that one day my kids will be grown and think that I could have done things better. But all I can do is the best I can. I fall very short of perfect, and the truth is that we all do. God created me to be just who I am, with my own strengths and weaknesses. As a new mother (which I still mostly am), I would read parenting books, drive myself crazy comparing myself to other moms who I thought were doing something better, always trying to be more, more more. Now, almost in my seventh year of having the best job in the world, I have learned to relax and just be me. I have found what works best for us, what our groove is, and at the end of the day I know my kids love me to death, and they know the feeling is mutual. I always tell my husband, "We're not perfect, but we're perfect for eachother". Go here to read the awesome post that got me writing this one. :)
busy days
This week has been full of getting things done around the house, and preparing to send all of our paperwork in to start the homestudy! TB screenings, exhausting amounts of cleaning, and planning on fitting everyone in the house comfortably. We have decided that Josh is going to design and build custom built-in bunk beds for the girls' room. I'm so excited! Here's some ideas we are going off of:
The rest of the week will be getting the rest of school shopping done, and planning Trent and Kali's birthday parties...I am going to be a busy lady! I'm super excited for both parties. I decided on Dr. Seuss for Trent's theme, and Kali's will be Super Mario Kart from the Wii game. She thought of that last year and surprisingly has not changed her mind...I have been racking my brain for ideas since there is very little on this kind of party. But I have thought of some really cute things for it, and we both can't wait!
--Lindsey
I LOVE this one! So creative! :
The rest of the week will be getting the rest of school shopping done, and planning Trent and Kali's birthday parties...I am going to be a busy lady! I'm super excited for both parties. I decided on Dr. Seuss for Trent's theme, and Kali's will be Super Mario Kart from the Wii game. She thought of that last year and surprisingly has not changed her mind...I have been racking my brain for ideas since there is very little on this kind of party. But I have thought of some really cute things for it, and we both can't wait!
--Lindsey
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