catching my breath

just call me whirlwind. wednesday chandler got his first game ball, after hours of me, his daddy and grandpa practicing all weekend for his game. he only had two more in the technical season to play his heart out and receive the honor of a dingy baseball signed and dated by his coach. i was so proud when his name was called, and everyone on his team and the other parents were cheering for chandler, my boy.

it finally stormed thursday, for the first time since, well, a long time. months. our lights went out, and after running spastically through the downpour and speeding through trent's 5-harness carseat baby trap, i glanced at him on the way to get his sister from school, hearing his giggles, and watching his chubby fingers grabbing at the droplets gathering on his window. today it was gorgeous and sunny, just how i like it, although i enjoy storms too. i never get the chance to read anymore, and yesterday i decided i would relax and enjoy the thunder and the ghostly howling of wind outside my dark living room, poring through a book that josh bought me months ago, geez maybe even a year ago. it's finished, all 490 pages. my eyes were on strike when i crawled into bed after midnight. i made the kids cinnamon rolls, which along with their scrumptious smell, just make everything seem more cozy. 

sometime between preschool and kindergarten i realized my boy is growing up. i know he's still a little kid, but it's different. no one tells you after being in the throws of toddler rearing how much it changes and how much your relationship changes, not for the worse of course, but it is an adjustment. i had to pull away from my intense need to hug him and hold him frequently, and let him be a boy, and let me tell you, he is all boy. now with the end of his first grade year rounding the corner i noticed how much of a disconnect we've had. how much time and energy school, homework, making dinner, and baseball games take from us. when he was in preschool, once a month i would pick him up on a friday and take him to get frozen yogurt. he wouldn't choose vanilla or chocolate, or even a creamy swirled version of the two, instead his favorite was rainbow. vibrant blue with splashes of lime green, pink and yellow. we would order one big cup and share it on the shop's patio, just he and i. when we were done we would yell "blue tongues!" and see who's was more blue. i ache for those days, when we would take naps in my fluffy bed, his little arms wrapped around my neck, his tiny voice reassuring me "I'll always be your pumpkin!", and then his steady breathing putting me to sleep, until we'd wake and have a snack, watch the wiggles and play until josh got home. so to make a change and fill my void i took chandler to get ice cream today, just like we used to. only the original shop we were familiar with was closed, so there was a different flavor variety for him to examine, sample, and eventually decide on...rock n roll pop.

 he wanted his own, in a cone, and instead of talking about his finger painting he did in school, our conversation was filled with his friends, how he did on his spelling quiz, and baseball. a lot has changed but our bond is the same. he loves his mama, and i hope he always remembers our ice cream dates.

once we got home, we were off to Joe's Crab Shack, one of my favorite places to dine out...i'm easy to please. i love the atmosphere--good music, sounds of conversation and laughter flowing, alone time to talk to josh while the kids expend their energy on the playground.

trent was shaking what his mama gave him to every song, then would yell at the speakers when the music stopped.

he hates having his picture taken, especially when his wife doesn't tell him she's doing it.

aaannddd...here's a glimpse of the dress i made for kali to wear at her tea party:



josh and i leave tomorrow morning after a 9:30 a.m. baseball practice, to see a couple of houses in corpus christi. we've been praying like crazy that something will begin to happen in the housing situation, and suddenly things are looking brighter.